A Healing Faith Community
It is well documented that sexual abuse perpetrated by men in power[1] is far too common in both Catholic[2]and Evangelical[3] churches.[4] In the first two decades of the 21st century, 380 Southern Baptist leaders were accused of sexual misconduct affecting some 700 victims.[5] This is not a Catholic problem, nor is it caused by celibacy; even less by homosexuality. This is not just a few bad eggs. It is systemic.
Clergy abuse is a serious problem. Abuse may take the form of controlling others, manipulating others, or coercing others. It may take the form of what we have come to call sexual harassment or inappropriate comments. It can also take the form of illicit sexual relationships, or, worst of all, child abuse.
In cases where multiple children are molested, the perpetrator is likely a pedophile.[6] Pedophiles are very difficult to treat. Their likelihood of reoffending is high. Clergy pedophiles, therefore, should be defrocked and removed from not only ministry, but from any position where they are in contact with children.
That doesn’t imply locking them up and throwing away the key. We can still be forgiving, encourage treatments that are known to help, and guide them towards restoration as humans, but just like an alcoholic must stay away from liquor, the pedophile needs to stay away from children forever.
Most abusers are not pedophiles – they are not sexually attracted to prepubescent children.
Here, we are setting aside pedophilia and the non-physical forms of control and abuse (as toxic and tragic as they may be) and focusing on those situations in which a revered person in power (in this case, a clergyperson) uses that position to engage in sexual contact with a person who has much less power.
Evangelical and Pentecostal churches tend to err in one of two directions. Too often, when a faith community leader fails morally, they are either summarily dismissed and forgotten, or their sin is downplayed and painted over. Evangelical Christians are notorious for shooting their own wounded; or, if the person in question is successful and gifted, ignoring and covering up their sin. (Or worse, blaming the victim.)
Interestingly, reports of sexual misconduct are fewer in mainline Protestant denominations.[7] There seem to be two main reasons.
First, mainline Protestant churches have strenuous standards for ordination. Whereas many Evangelical and Pentecostal churches ordain and promote leaders based solely on charisma, mainline churches, while not ignoring leadership skills, make certain that ministers are well-trained (most require a college degree and a three-year seminary degree in ministry). It’s not a matter of giftedness or education – both are vital. The education one receives from an accredited seminary provides a bulwark against both hurtful behaviors and hurtful doctrines. I’m not suggesting that there are not loving, caring pastors who do not have seminary educations. I am suggesting that theological education is important and that healthy denominations provide it for their ministers.
Second, Mainline Protestant churches have systems of accountability built in. They have ethical standards that leaders must agree to on at least a yearly basis. There is an ecclesiastical hierarchy to which leaders are answerable. Systems are in place for misconduct to be reported. Victims are typically afforded the care they need to recover.
Many independent Evangelical and Pentecostal churches have church boards made up of individuals hand-picked by the pastor and no denominational structural means of removing an abusive leader. Notoriously, the Roman Catholic Church has authority over its clergy, but too often bishops have been complicit in covering up abuse.
When an institution like a local church is built around one dynamic, charismatic man who is revered as a mouthpiece for God, and that man has no one around him who will call him on his propensity to control, a set up for abuse of power is in place. Couple that with the highly patriarchal culture in which many churches live, and you have a recipe for disaster.
I was a theologically uneducated but gifted Bible teacher in my 20s when I founded a nondenominational faith community that quickly grew to be quite large. It was affiliated with Calvary Chapel. I never molested or sexually assaulted anyone, but when I fell deeply in love with a woman in the church, there was no one to guide me, correct me, or help me work through my various issues. Chuck Smith liked me and communicated a kind of “boys will be boys” patriarchal laissez-faire attitude towards the whole thing. He encouraged me to remain as pastor.
At the time, Calvary Chapel eschewed psychotherapy. The general attitude was “everything you need is in the Bible.”
Guilt drove me to resign, and divorce followed. The result was scandal. Many people were disillusioned, hurt, and angry. Many wrote me off as just another sinner. Only a very few remained loving, kind, and forgiving, although not condoning. No one helped me with the multiplicity of psychosocial issues that precipitated my fall from (human) grace.
That was over 40 years ago. Since then, I graduated from seminary, became affiliated with a legitimate mainline denomination, trained to be a board-certified chaplain, a board-certified life coach, and a certified spiritual director. All those affiliations require strict adherence to ethical standards and provide built-in accountability. Additionally, I’ve been in therapy off and on over those four decades, most recently engaged in depth-psychoanalysis, which is helping me understand why I’ve done the things I did. I’m in a concentrated program of character development. I’m learning to accept the divine grace I offer others. I’ve learned to forgive myself and others.
How much easier my life would have been had I had the availability and encouragement to pursue education, ordination, certification, and official endorsement, as well as psychotherapy and spiritual formation 40 years ago.
What might have been done differently?
· Rather than downplaying seminary, I wish I had been encouraged to pursue a Master of Divinity degree after I graduated from college.
· Chuck Smith ordained men he liked and who showed signs of giftedness as Bible teachers. Education, psychological testing, and character development were not considered to be important.
· Having women pastors on staff would have helped.
· It would have been such a blessing had my faith affiliation provided marital therapy.[8] Looking back, it’s highly likely the marriage I entered when I was 18 would have still ended in divorce, but even in that scenario, it would have been more amicable, and (most importantly) much less traumatic on our children.
· Being encouraged to seek in-depth individual psychotherapy to uncover core causes would have saved years of heartache for everyone involved.
· A good consultant could have helped my congregation work through its disappointment, anger, and grief. Most likely, the church needed to be lovingly transitioned to another lead pastor.
· A good denomination would have sought to place me in some sort of position (not necessarily pastoring) where I could use my talents and support my family. They would have provided whatever was needed to make that transition.[9]
Churches attract a lot of wounded people, which is great, but those wounded people may be especially vulnerable to what they perceive as the love and care provided by this “godly” man. And the “godly man” can easily start believing his own press, become prideful, and abuse his place of authority.
Church planting organizations and Evangelical and Pentecostal denominations typically target, support, and promote dynamic, entrepreneurial, charismatic pastors. They too often ignore those who are less so. Megachurches are almost exclusively run by CEO-pastors skilled in marketing and promotion. Pastors of large churches are put on pedestals and surrounded by sycophants.[10] Pastors whose churches don’t grow are considered failures.
What I’m suggesting is a system where faith leaders are carefully trained, psychologically vetted, and surrounded by support systems, such as mentors, overseers, therapists, marriage counselors, and continuing education opportunities.
I’m suggesting a shift from the dynamic, egocentric, entrepreneur CEO-pastor to women and men filled with love who display a Christlike character.
I’m suggesting a system where pastors who sin, whose marriages fail, or who are dealing with mental health issues are provided the help they need rather than being tossed on the garbage heap.
I’m suggesting a system where victims are heard and cared for and where perpetrators undergo whatever it takes to be fundamentally changed so they will never abuse again.
I’m suggesting a healing community of faith.
[1] Most scandals in organized Christendom are perpetrated by men.
[2]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catholic_Church_sexual_abuse_cases#:~:text=The%20report%20estimates%20that%20216%2C000,of%20the%20victims%20were%20boys.
[3] https://newrepublic.com/article/185907/evangelical-movement-sexual-abuse-scandal#:~:text=In%202022%2C%20an%20external%20report,from%20more%20than%20700%20victims
[6] Pedophilic Disorder is a DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition), diagnosis assigned to adults (defined as age 16 and up) who have sexual desire for prepubescent children (American Psychiatric Association, 2013a). Any behavioral expression of Pedophilic Disorder is a criminal offense in the United States, Canada, and Europe, as well as most other places in the world.
[7] In the United States, the major mainline denominations are the United Methodist Church, the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, the Episcopal Church, American Baptist Churches, USA, Presbyterian Church (USA), United Church of Christ, and Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). Smaller mainline denominations include: Cooperative Baptist Fellowship, Religious Society of Friends (Quakers), Reformed Church in America, Mennonite Church USA, Church of the Brethren, International Council of Community Churches, National Association of Congregational Christian Churches, Alliance of Baptists, Moravian Church in North America, Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches, Latvian Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, Estonian Evangelical Lutheran Church Abroad, and Hungarian Reformed Church in America.
[8] By “Marital therapy,” I mean therapy with a well-trained & credentialed marriage and family therapist. Marriage counseling in the context of the evangelical faith community of which I was a part meant having an untrained pastor tell men to go home and “love your wife as Christ loves the church,” and telling women to go home and “submit yourself to your husband.” Biblical passages were reduced to one size fits all commandments rather than principles guided by love.
[9] In fairness to Calvary Chapel, Chuck Smith did eventually hire me to run Calvary Chapel Bible College and CC’s conference center.
[10] “Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men, even when they exercise influence and not authority; still more when you superadd the tendency of the certainty of corruption by authority.” – Lord Acton
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